I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
