I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
