all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Randomize
