No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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