He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
