other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
