found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
