somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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