OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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