She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
