The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
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