I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
