My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
