he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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