The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
