Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
