Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize
