well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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