Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
