so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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