it wasn't lemon gatorade
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
