Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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