My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
