I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
