Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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