well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
