I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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