Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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