Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
