We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
