the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
