I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Don't make out with my wife yet
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
