Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
