i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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