check it out our google latitudes are spooning
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Randomize
