Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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