Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
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