My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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