just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
