Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
