Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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