Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
