did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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