walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
