She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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