The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
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