Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He better not be in your backpack
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
