so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize