I've blown a few things in my day
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
