Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
