I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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