Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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